Sunday, February 13, 2011

Just in case you thought we were kidding...

You've probably all heard that my mother is dating Mr. Redneck of the Universe. In the summer, he runs his own excavator business, digging irrigation and such, and in the winter, he traps animals and sells the skins to be made into fur coats and other dead thing accessories. Well, we stopped by his house last night, and... were afraid to go inside. This is the front room.

There were 7 coyotes in this room, in various stages of being skinned. 

These pine martens were hanging in the living room, right next to the couch where they were watching TV. 

Lee pulled out two more hangers full of pine martens from the closet in the spare bedroom. If you look behind his arm, you can see a bobcat hanging up. 

These were on the floor of the spare bedroom. You can't see it terribly well, but that pile is almost two feet high of coyotes, pine martens and bobcats. He said he gets $400 for each bobcat, $250 for each coyote and about $50 for each pine marten. 

So there, proof that I was adopted, or at least that I got all of my father's dominant genes. 


Emily said...



Pops said...

I thought Jeremiah Johnson died in Utah years ago.

Alex said...

Say what you want, but that dude is a genius. He's makin some dang good money just taking advantage of Wyoming's bountiful wildlife. There's a demand for these pelts, and somebody's got to meet it. He's obviously good at what he does, and if you know anything about varmints and other furbearing mammals, you'd know that hunting and trapping them is not an easy task. It requires a ton of strategizing, tactical thinking, attention to detail, patience and a lot of just straight-up manual labor.

Then there's the preparation of the hides- the process of skinning and tanning and caring for a pelt is so much more complex than you can imagine. It's a very painstaking and unforgiving process. If you screw it up even a little, there goes your profit for the whole dang thing.

It's so much more than some dumb redneck stumblin around in the mountains waiting for some poor little innocent creature to get caught in one of his contraptions. There is a LOT that goes into it.

I think its rad. The dude is a stud. Good for him.

Emily said...

My personal problem I have with this is having dead animals all over my living space. To me, that is where the problem begins and ends. Alex is right- it's good money, there is a demand, and someone's got to do it-- BUT a shed or a garage would go a long way in this situation. I can't imagine having dead, half skinned animals INSIDE my house everywhere. Can't imagine.

I will never complain again when Rob has cabinets all over my living room. Never never again.

Haley said...

I agree with Em. Have no problem with what he does. But in the house? EWW!!!

B said...

Exactly, I'm not saying he's not talented or hardworking, but having to dodge a half skinned pine marten while stepping over a coyote to get into the living room is weird. I don't care who you are. His house smells subtly of death, and his decor motif seems to be "If it's dead, it goes on the wall".

I also hate that there's such an industry for this stuff. Some rich snot has a coat made out of pine martens, which I know aren't cuddly, but still. And I'm pretty sure Lee doesn't eat coyote for the rest of the year, so... yeah. Killing for meat is one thing, killing for fur is not anything I condone.

Matt said...

Interesting you got so defensive Mr. Spoon... Maybe it hit a little close to home? If you notice, she didn't say anything about him being dumb, or his profession being wrong, lazy, or not needed. (although, it being "needed" is debatable...) To me, this post was nothing more than an observation of a man who lives completely different from most of us and our families. And maybe driven by the fact that she is a little taken back that her Mother is dating this guy who has animal blood and guts all over his house. (just one of many things to ponder about this situation)
While I was walking around his house I felt the same way, infact, I wanted to bring my video camera inside and start a documentary on him! I think it would be cool to do a mini film about stereotypes in Wyoming. Like, show Lee's life in comparison to say... Scott Phister. And then get random interviews from people out of state talking about their thoughts on Wyoming. Conclusion? My point? I have no idea. hehe.

Alex said...

I realized after I posted my comment that I got all defensive for no good reason and I feel rather sheepish for doing so (no shearing jokes please).

I dunno why I got like that. Perhaps just a force of habit. It seems I'm always finding myself trying to debunk stereotypes of all kinds, especially when it comes to "rednecky" or "hillbilly" stuff. While I still am quite guilty of doin my share of stereotyping and typecasting, its something I wouldn't mind seeing change in this world. It all stems from a lack of understanding each other as people, and I think thats a big part of what we are supposed to be doing in this life. Although I must admit, I do truly, thouroghly enjoy it when stereotypes ring completely true. (didn't someone post about that? Drunk dudes at a pub or somethin like that?) It's hilarious.

Agreed, peeps, that doing this kind of thing in your living space is a little strange. I would definitely be for havin a shed or somethin.

I knew this guy, Ollie, down in Cedar who was a hardcore Mountain Man - like, buckskin pants, jacket and coon cap on a daily basis hardcore. Anyway, Ollie made his living as a hide smoker. People from all over the country would send him hides of all kinds and he would tan and treat them using the smoking process. Pretty self-explanatory, you just scrape all the junk off the hide, build a fire and stick it in the smoke. Ollie's house looked a whole lot like Lee's. Now, I use the term "house" loosely. From the front it looked pretty normal, but he had pretty much knocked out the whole back wall and built himself a gigantic fireplace/furnace/rotissere type thing to do his work and never really bothered reattatching it to the other three walls. He called it his "town hut" and that seemed fitting. It was always funny to be walking through Wal-Mart or wherever and catch a whiff of burnt venison fat, walk two aisles over and sure enough, there'd be old Ollie. He was a great guy, but dang did he stink.

Anyway, I think that would make for an awesome documentary Matt. Do it.

Neaners said...

I agree with everyone that the hides and animals shouldn't be in his living space. Gross! Yes Matt a documentary on stereotypes of some sort would be fascinating.

Pops said...

Arn't we all stereotypes unto ourselves. How broad do you get? That said, the Neanderthall with the dead animals in his living room is a bit over-the-top in grossness. I'm with Alex. Traping wild animals in the winter in Wyoming is not easy and it's hard work.