Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Top 5 reasons Pretty Woman sucks as a movie

I watched this recently with Dad, and I have to say, it really bugged me. It gets 1

Star

1: It's a Cinderella story about a hooker.
2: Julia Roberts is way too classy to be a hooker.
3: Julia Roberts was not a very good actress in it.
4: My mom has a huge crush on Richard Gere, so he automatically bugs me.
5: Stuckie the lawyer is a complete jerky slimebally.

Sue, I want to know what you think. And I did like her clothes in the movie. Clothes make the movie sometimes.

18 comments:

Sue said...

You beat me to it B! I was going to post this, but I'll just do it as a comment. That is a HUGE star by the way, and the movie should really be Hud Sauce. Okay my top 5 reasons I think Pretty Woman is the suckiest movie:

1--It is a fairytale about a whore.

2--It has Julia Roberts, the horse face woman in it.

3--It has Richard Gere, the gerbil butt guy in it.

4--The acting is atrocious! Jason Alexander as the lawyer, is the only decent acting in the movie. Horsey face can't even do a good fake laugh! There is a scene where gerbil butt is watching her and she is watching cartoons and laughing, it is absurd! Her laugh is so bad I can't believe it got past the editor or whatever.

5--The main characters are not likeable at all. She's a whore and he is a stupid rich guy who picks up on whores. How could anyone possibly have any empathy for either one of them?

B said...

I didn't think that that star was that big... ignore it, I'll remove it. HAHA, what makes Richard Gere the gerbil butt guy?!

B said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sue said...

I can't tell you B. It will scar you for life.

Emily said...

Hahahahaha

Emily said...

Here are the reasons I think Pretty Woman sucks, although, frankly, I kind of like it, but it isn't perfect.

1. I do dislike Richard Gere a lot.
2. I hate when Julia Roberts is so excited about the money she throws herself on the bed and freaks out. It is super bad.
3. Her friend is that annoying girl on Just Shoot me.
4. His job was to buy companies and strip them down. That is a horrible horrible profession.
5. And last but not least, and I can't believe this hasn't been addressed yet, it contains one of the worst and cheesiest lines in movie history. When he becomes the "white knight" in his limo to "save her" and he is afraid of heights, so she grabs him and says, "and she saves him right back".

Bearing all that in mind, I really don't dislike the movie at all. It has some annoyances, but I kind of like it. I don't have a problem with Julia Roberts at all, I know a lot of people do though. I think she is pretty.
Here are some things about the movie I like:
--I like when she goes shopping. Classic rags to riches thing and is fun to watch.

--I like how he takes her to that fancy evening to the opera and she genuinely loved the opera. When he asks her if she liked it she says, "it was so good I almost peed my pants". Good line.

--She wasn't quite "whore" material, just a girl that got into the wrong situation because of circumstance and is able to get out of it, even if that means she has to be with gerbil man.

I don't think the gerbil story will scar B for life, you hate him already, so I am going to tell you. There was a rumor going around quite a long time ago that he was taken to the hospital because a live gerbil got stuck up his butt.

He put the gerbil in there on purpose.

Emily said...

By the way B, we need to do something about you and Matt and your sign in names......
I'm so confused!
*Holding my head and saying that like Vinny Barbarino*

Emily said...

One more thing--
I fixed your star so it was more manageable and less crazy.

Was that censorship?

I only did it cause you said you would remove it and I like it. I downloaded it and am going to use it to rate my things in the future.

I am now confused. Was that a "top fives" or were you doing a movie review? If its a review, I suppose we should label it as b's picks and movies eh?

Nazi.

B said...

Why would anoyone in the world do that to a gerbil? I am very disturbed, but not scarred. I didn't watch the ending of Pretty Woman, so I only vaguely remember that line. But I hated her whole speech on the balcony about the knight. And I think she's pretty and all shopping/makeover scenes in movies are awesome!! I might have to go do a top five right now!!

Thank you for fixing my star! I thought it was kind of cute, but only if it was little. It was a top five movie review, sorry to mix categories. You can censor all you want, I don't mind. Just be careful about saying Nazi when you visit.

Love B

Sue said...

That was a top 5 she was doing. Em, you pointed out more terrible things about the movie that I had forgotten! Her roommate is that awful girl from Just Shoot Me. Cam and I hate her!

Pops said...

Regarding Pretty Woman: I have always liked it. For many of the reasons already stated, but wholly agree the cheesy ending was the worst ever "and she just hugged him back" or something. You all didn't mention Hector A. The actor that was the hotel manager. Great job. It also had a Gulfstream IV. Very nice! Gerbil butt played the piano. It had a Lotus in it. Julia's street friend was the crazy woman in Quigley Down Under, good job acting there. .....Ms Roberts is still a looker!!!!!

Sue said...

HAHA! dad said gerbil butt! And B, he wasn't doing it to harm the gerbil, he was doing it for himself. See where that is going?
And yes, I know it is just a rumor and didn't actually happen, but it happens to be my all time favorite celebrity rumor ever! Better than Paul being dead or David Bowie and Mick Jagger being found together.

I agree that Julia Roberts is pretty. But pretty doesn't mean you can act. I think she is a really highly overrated actress.

And I can't stand Richard Gere, he can't act either. He's got to be a fairly decent person though. He's like best friends with the Dali Lama.

Pops said...

I can stand Richard Gere. Just see again Primal Fear. One of the best court room dramas and the film that started Edward Norton on his career. Yummy story and supprise ending.

Sue said...

I just watched Primal Fear friday night! One of the cable stations played it. I love that movie! I was going to do a movie review on it. I think it's the first thing I ever saw Ed Norton in. He is fantastic! The ending is crazy!

Pretty Woman update: I pretty much watched this movie twice over the weekend in Wendover. Yes, twice! One of the cable stations kept playing it, and the girl I shared the hotel room with loves the movie!

Pops said...

You go to Wendover to watch movies! Lame, Sue. I thought you would be rocken at the disco or doing a hoedown at a western club. Again, though, Primal Fear is very good filmmaking. Don't use Pretty Woman as quote material. I know them all...i.e. "it turns like it is on rails"... hehehehe

Sue said...

I didn't go to Wendover to watch movies! When we got there we checked into our rooms, and kind of just hung out in the room because it was a pretty scary drive. It poured rain the entire drive and it sucked. So relaxed for about an hour and a half before we hit the casino. Watched Pretty Woman. Then the next morning while we were getting ready to go, it was on again!

Unknown said...

I know I'm a few years late with this reply, but I thought the gerbil guy was Jerry Pennacoli , a Philadelphia newsman. P.S. I HATE THIS MOVIE. It's so cheesy and Julia Roberts annoys the hell outta me: her laugh, her "I'm so cool cause I know about cars" attitude and the fact that she is insulted by the way people percieve her. You're a hooker, for God's sake!! And we are supposed to see how insightful, intelligent, and down to earth she is, yet believe that she is also low class enough to say inappropriate things, like "It was so good I almost peed my pants." Gimme a break! What the hell does that mean, anyway? I could go on, but....Rant over

Unknown said...

I know I'm a few years late with this reply, but I thought the gerbil guy was Jerry Pennacoli , a Philadelphia newsman. P.S. I HATE THIS MOVIE. It's so cheesy and Julia Roberts annoys the hell outta me: her laugh, her "I'm so cool cause I know about cars" attitude and the fact that she is insulted by the way people percieve her. You're a hooker, for God's sake!! And we are supposed to see how insightful, intelligent, and down to earth she is, yet believe that she is also low class enough to say inappropriate things, like "It was so good I almost peed my pants." Gimme a break! What the hell does that mean, anyway? I could go on, but....Rant over