Thursday, October 23, 2008

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Palace



HUD SAUCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I honestly think this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. This movie makes Plan 9 From Outer Space seem like a great movie. The story line, dialogue, acting and special effects were just awful. Cam and I saw this last week and I had to wait until now to do the post because I didn't want to think about the movie. George Lucas and Steven Spielberg should be ashamed of themselves. Seeing the movie makes a recent Southpark episode make more sense.

I'm not going to get into the storyline, it is just too bad to repeat. Harrison Ford is so bad in the movie I'm embarrassed for him. I started thinking during the movie "Is Harrison Ford a good actor? Or is he one of those that people think is a good actor just because he's good looking?" I started thinking of the movies I've seen with him in it, and realized I haven't seen too many of his movies. I've seen the Star Wars movies, The Fugitive, Witness, Mosquito Coast and Working Girl. I like Han Solo, but I don't think Ford's acting really stands out. Tommy Lee Jones is what made the Fugitive so good. The creepy amish kid is what made Witness good. And River Phoenix was the best part of Mosquito Coast, besides the story itself. And I really don't remember much about Working Girl except Joan Cusak has great 80's hair. Anyway, I don't mean to bag so much on Harrison Ford. The dialogue they gave him was so bad I don't know if anyone could have pulled it off.

The movie went from bad to worse, and by the time the ending came around Cam was seriously angry. He likes the Indiana Jones movies and was looking forward to this one. So watch it if you feel you need to punish yourself. If you have already seen it and liked it, it would be best if you didn't tell me. I would loose a bit of respect for you.

26 comments:

Emily said...

Is it weird that I kind of want to see it now just out of curiosity about how bad it is?

Matt said...

I laughed through the whole thing. Indian Jones is supposed to have really lame, over the top B-rated lines... but this was just bad. So I laughed because it sucked, whereas in all the other ones I laughed because it seemed like it was supposed to be funny. The end was so not Indiana Jones either. The whole alien thing was so stupid. It was almost like they made the whole movie and forgot to write an ending for it, then it came to filming and they were like, "What the bip should we do?" "ummm, lets just C.G. some stuff on the computer and call it good". B and I both HATED Shilo Buff or whatever his name is. Totally a wussy boy playing a tough guy role. Didn't work. It's kinda weird, we were just talking about this movie like 2 days ago. It sounds like I need to see that South Park!!

Sue said...

Em-It's not weird that you now kind of want to see it. It's that weird curiosity that makes people want to see freak show people and stuff. Put it on while you are doing something else, so you don't waste 2 hours just watching this or you'll be really mad at yourself.

Matt-I'm so glad you thought it sucked too. I agree that Indiana Jones always has lame lines, but this one just seemed unbelievably bad. And Shilo Buff? I couldn't even mention him in my review because it makes me angry. He was awful. Yes, whimpy kid trying to be all tough guy. That monkey vine swinging scene was so lame! And when Jones is strapped in that chair staring at the crystal skull and it starts talking to him or whatever! Holy Crap this movie was so bad.

Emily said...

Haha, I can't wait to watch it. I'll watch it and fold laundry or something.

B said...

This movie gets a @#$%@#$%@#$%@#$% from me. Holy cow. I hated it sooooooooooo much. Then ending is sooooo bad. I guessed it was aliens from the stupid first scene with the magnets, and had my fingers crossed the whole time that it wouldn't be. Alien movies should die. Shia Lebeouf should be shot for even thinking he could play that role. The ending was the most vile piece of trash junk lame yuckiness that you could ever imagine. Harrison Ford should retire. If they come out with a new Star Wars I will puke on something. How could they think they could do a sequel and have it even compare to the first ones? OH! I just remembered what the monkey vine swinging scene was, and almost gagged. You've got to be kidding me. Em, if you go in knowing how terrible it is, you will probably be enourmously entertained at how stupid it is. What a waste of $20.

P.S. This was right after the Wal-Mart blog post. Now I REALLY have to go do something fun and happy, like look at Scout's school photo

Emily said...

Haha- golly B, tell us how you really feel about this movie.
That was HI-larious.

I have discovered something. Harrison Ford always has b lines. Maybe it is his delivery. I still like him though and will defend him until I die (or I see this movie).

Sue said...

Em, what ever warm fuzzy feelings you feel towards Harrison Ford will go away when you see this. If he had any kind of dignity or self respect, he would have read this screenplay and said "you want me to do what?" By doing this movie he proved himself to be nothing but a sell-out. He was probably paid like 30 million dollars for taking a big piece of crap on screen.

Speaking of. During the monkey swinging scene it would have made the movie better if they had Shilo Buff crap in his hands and throw it like monkeys tend to do.

Sue said...

I need to go look at the picture of Scout now.

B said...

That last comment was a @#$% too...

B said...

OOOPPPPSSSS!!!!! I hadn't seen that comment about Scout, that was meant for the monkey/Harrison Ford/losing respect comment!

Sue said...

What do you mean B? My comment about the movie being nothing more than Harrison Ford taking a crap scarred you for life?

Emily said...

I'm glad you all get warm fuzzys looking at Scout today. I look at her tonight and I go, "man I am glad you are asleep".

B said...

Sue: It was more reffering to the last part of that comment. Conversations about that have a tendency to scar me. And the part about Harrison Ford.

Cat said...

Ha Ha, Em. Was she full of beans yesterday?

Emily said...

Like you wouldn't believe. You use the term "non stop" about things, and don't quite mean it. But she was indeed non stop from sun up to sun down, while I was having a tired day. I think I am going through a crash of sorts from my Clomid/diet pill craziness.

Cat said...

Aww, Em. I'm so sorry. It's bad enough on days like that, but when you feel all weird...I hope today is better.

Pops said...

I see Clomid refered to and I don't know what that means. Dosen't really matter, there is a lot I don't know. Regarding the Skull movie...agree about the lameness of the movie and script and H. Ford is too old to play the part. Is Harrison Ford a good actor? Good question and I thought that he was pretty good. However, in thinking about it, I would rate him fair to good. I liked most of his movies but the only one I can think of that the acting was escellent was "The Fugitive" Yes, Tommy Lee Jones was great, but ford was also very good. He sold movies and that has to say something about him.

Sue said...

Dad, Clomid is a pill Em is taking that might help her get pregnant with a little George jr.

Emily said...

Clear and Present Danger was good, I think his acting was pretty good in that- if I remember right. Also Air Force 1, but I'm not so sure about the acting skills there, just liked the movie.
And yes dad, Clomid is a fertility drug. It is supposed to make both my ovaries ovulate instead of just the one on my blocked tube side. (If you wanted to know).

Cat said...

What Lies Beneath was good too. I'm not sure how great an actor he is either. But still in some pretty good movies.

Matt said...

Sabrina is my favorite movie of all time.
Kidding.
Sue: your poo flinging comment was the best. I laughed shred hard. B on the other hand, can't take any bathroom humor whatsoever, I think that is what she meant by her comments.

Sue said...

I thought it was funny too! It made me laugh pretty hard last night when I typed it. I didn't realize B had such a problem with bathroom humor. I still wasn't too clear on what was so scarring, glad I know. Just another thing to put on my list of things I know about B that I can use at a later time.

Pops said...

Just talking about Clomid makes my fallopian tubes hurt! Years ago mom and I were at the San diego zoo with Ann and Will Godfrey. We were watching the mountain apes and one of the big silver backs started catching his poo in his hand and throwing it at us. Almost hit Ann and I rolled on the ground it was so funny. Uptight Ann didn't think it was very funny. I still think of it as one of the funniest personal experiences I ever had or seen. How wierd am I???? Sorry, B, I am just a crude old guy. I even thought the tolet scene in D.& D. was funny.

Sue said...

Oh dad, you make me laugh. I remember you guys telling us that story about Ann Godfrey when I was a little kid. Funny stuff. The toilet scene in D&D is very funny.

Pops said...

thanks, Sue for spelling toilet correctly. Very classy!

Pops said...

I remember now that Ann Godfrey was probabally more upset because the ape took a bite out of the poo before he threw it at us. Just like eating an apple. Animals are wonderful!